Finny's Thoughts
by PlaceOfDreamsAndNightmares
Summary: A one-shot of Finny's thoughts as he is waiting for his leg to be reset about his doubts and relationship about Gene and the events that lead up to that moment.


**Hello their wonderful reader! :) This is actually an assignment that I had to do for my English class but I loved having the aspect of trying to tell Finny's aspect of everything at the end. **

**Hope you all like it! And hopefully I get an A :D (Cross my fingers!)**

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It felt serene sitting here in the infirmary as all the other boys of the school continued on with there lives. Shuffling to class, swimming in the creek, staying up past curfew and trying to sneak behind the school masters backs. It was the same why I was. Many would never know me or my story, or even learn to treasure the time they had with their friends.

They are precious, friends are. Someone who choses you to hold their secrets and tell their stories, the good and the bad. Not holding any ties of blood to you but only the loyalty of calling them your friend. You are theirs and they are yours.

I am glad that I have found that person in Gene. He would always stand by me, through anything and everything. Another part of myself, my better half, my brother. He moved, I moved. I moved, he moved. No one would replace him, no one ever could. I recall fondly the stories we use to share with each other and the laughs we use to have. It seems like it not the same anymore, since my accident.

The memory of him coming to my house before the winter session still fresh in my mind. He was frantic almost, his eyes wide and his words coming out in jumbles.

"I jounced the limb. I caused it." He told me. It was hard to believe, and I didn't believe him. He was guilty, feeling that he should have caught me like I did him to long ago. It did seem to long ago. Back during our careless Summer where we were free and young. We had both grow a lot since those days.

Would we be in reversed places if I had not caught him? Would I be blaming myself for the accident? For him falling and injuring himself? No, I don't believe so, he would tell me it was nonsense as I said to him.

He insisted it was true, and I insisted it was not. It was impossible to see him like this, desperate and frantic, without getting aggravated. This was not my best friend Gene.

"I'm going to hit you if you don't sit down." I told him. He needed to stop this nonsense, it was foolish.

"_Hit_ me!" He looked me dead in the eye. "_Hit_ me! You can't even get up! You can't even come near me!" And he was right. I couldn't. Not even if I wanted to. I was bound to that chair and could do as much damage as Leper could, being none at all.

I knew the way I was, I knew I could not move to save my life. After he seemed to gather his sense, he left soon after, leaving me to my thoughts.

Gene would never do anything to hurt me. I was his best friend wasnt I?

Through out the rest of my recovery I pondered over his words. Could he have done that to me? Trying to wrap my head around the concept was nearly impossible, as every time I thought it possible to believe I refused to agree. Gene would never hurt me.

But as I returned to Devon nothing seemed to be the same. Gene acted distant, though always by my side if I needed him, worried over me and fused when I did something he deemed unsafe. It was nice to have my friend back and I found my safe haven in Gene away from this stupid war.

That would have to have been one of the hardest things, accepting that I would never be able to do the things that I had always dreamed. Never to play sports again, never to go out and fight for this country like Bobby and Chet and Gene would. Never would I hold a gun and charge on the Germans, never know the pride of time served. Never.

Brinker was of no help either. Him summoning us to the Assembly Hall with this almighty smug look on his face as if he was the puppet master behind an elaborate show of moving dolls and strings. When we got there, he said he wanted to "investigate" the incident in the tree. Question after question was flung at me and I tried my hardest to keep Gene safe. He wanted to know where Gene was, why I fell from the tree, how I could have slipped with I had good balance. Gene sat on the bench a little ways in front of me, his hands clenched and most of the color drained from his face.

I answered all the questions the way I normally would but saved Gene from being exposed. He was in the tree with me, and he might have been the one to accidentally make me fall but he didn't try to hurt me. If Brinker were to ever know that he would terrorize Gene with the information, and I would not let him do that.

Though that small voice in my head still kept bothering me, telling me it was not an accident that I told Brinker that Leper was here at Devon. It was hard to look at Gene as I was making the decision to tell them.

It was only when Leper started to recount the story that I came to me senses again. This was nonsense! Gene is my best friend and I love him. I didn't care to hear their words anymore, and I told them so. Brinker could collect all the facts in the world and it wouldn't change my mind. Nothing could, and nothing will.

The tears in my eyes and my cast it was lead me to fall down those blasted steps. Trying to wipe them away I lost my balance and toppled down them. Great balance I have, huh Brinker?

I felt terrible with the way I lashed out to Gene when he came to visit me later that night but I didn't care at the moment, about anything. I just wanted it to go back to the way it was back that Summer. It would never like that again. After he left I spent the whole night in a restless sleep. Dreaming of Brinker hounding me for the truth, trying to get me to blame Gene, soon followed by Gene laughing and laughing as I fell, but I never hit the ground and went on forever. Waking but at day break was not the best way to start a morning.

It was only when Gene came to bring me extra clothes that my mood brightened a little, but not enough to show it as I was not completely ready to talk to him after last night. It wasnt until he told me that he felt like he belonged here last night that I realized something about him. He needed me and much as I needed him. Just knowing the other is there, we needed that.

I wished I could go with him when he went to war, that way I would always be somewhat close to him and so I wouldn't become a faded memory.

Soon he left though, after admitting to me that it was just a blind impulse to shake the limb, that he didn't mean to hurt me and I believed him. I will always believe him. He gave me an unsure hug before he left, telling me he was sorry again. Clinging him tighter with tears in my eyes I forgave him. "You are the greatest friend I ever could have Gene. Never forget that."

He looked at me with his bright blue eyes, filling with regret and glossy with tears, though none would fall. "I never will. I love you Finny, my brother."

"As to you. Brother." His retreating form gave me the strength I needed till Dr. Stanpole came in. Gene would be waiting for me outside. Waiting for me to get better and come back. We would stay up late and play cards under the light of a covered lamp. We would throw snowballs at each other and he would fret over his school work while I did sit ups. We would be best friends again.

"It would all be over soon. You'll wake up with your lag good as new." Dr. Stanpole said with a toothy smile on his face as he placed the mask on my face. Filling my lungs with the sleep gas.

I smiled a bright smile back. "Just don't take to long Dr. Stanpole, don't want to be asleep any longer than needed." We both laughed as everything started to go a little fuzzy.

"Don't worry about it," he said as is voice started to slowly fade away. "Everything will be fine..."

'Don't worry Gene,' I thought. 'I'll be back soon.'

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**Till next time my lovely Fanfictioners :-)P**


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